


heya, i'm the doctor

by Yoshichao



Category: Doctor Who, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, no actual doctor who-y content sorry, this joke fic is worse than sans' puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 18:23:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13553004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoshichao/pseuds/Yoshichao
Summary: Sans comes up with a great new joke.





	heya, i'm the doctor

**Author's Note:**

> so i'm cleaning and i find this tardis cookie jar i don't actually use and of course i think "whats the largest plush i own that looks like i could probably fit into here for a dumb joke" and after googling "sans doctor who remix" to use as part of my Funny Joke i wrote this fic at 3am
> 
> as an aside, i do not establish the setting of this fic so you are free to imagine whatever time and place you like. i personally imagine this is taking place in the dump, which is where this fic belongs.

"hey frisk, i got a new joke. wanna hear it?"

Frisk turns to see Sans standing in front of a blue police box, which they are quite sure was not there a moment ago. But its existence is completely inconspicuous and is no cause for concern, so the human nods, excited to hear yet another of one of Sans' _sans-sational_ jokes. With the good-to-go, Sans turns around and hobbles into the police box, shutting the door behind him. A few seconds later, he emerges from it, wearing his trademark bony grin (that he was also wearing before entering the police box - in other words, he looked exactly the same as he always did before before and after coming out of the box). He leans against the police box and gives Frisk a wink.

"heya kid. i'm the doctor."

Frisk, tilting their head in curiosity, inquires as to what kind of field Sans is a doctor in. The skeleton begins to sweat.

"that's not important, all you need to know is that i'm the doctor and the big blue box behind me can travel through time and space. because i'm the doctor."

Not satisfied, Frisk continues to badger this so-called "doctor" for answers. Where and when did he get his PhD? Why did he choose to go into the unspoken field that he did? Did anyone ever mistake him for a model skeleton? Was the police box his office? Do skeletons face discrimination as professionals in his line of work? What are the benefits and challenges of being a skeleton who is also a doctor?

Suddenly hunched over and wounded by the barrage of questions he cannot answer, the monster grabs Frisk by the sleeve and shakes them desperately, slowly losing all DETERMINATION regarding his incredible and original joke. Frisk sees the pleading in his eye sockets; they see every bead of sweat emerging from his cranium. They watch as his skeletal fingers tremble as they grip tighter and tighter on Frisk's striped sleeve. Had he the flesh of a man, his knuckles would certainly be turning white along with his face, pale as the midnight moon - from fear? Perhaps, but perhaps it is from something else, something much more powerful. Something unknown, something unseen and yet all-consuming.

Frisk looks on, and sees a feeble old man who is soon-to-be-broken by his own hubris.

"no, kid, you're asking the wrong questions." Frisk simply stares in silence, gaze piercing through Sans' very SOUL. He feels the despair crawling down his back. He knows he should abort this joke before it's too late, but he, a prisoner in his own body, watches himself helplessly as he futilely tries to salvage it.

"i say, 'i'm the doctor', and then you're supposed to say, 'doctor who'. get it? you got it? kiddo-- frisk, frisk please, throw me a bone here. i'm dying here, frisk. i'm dying, i'm terminally ill and i need a doctor, i don't have the required level of education for this. please, please frisk, you..."

There is only one kind of "LOVE" in the human's empty and unflinching gaze.

Sans falls to the ground in defeat, sobbing. Frisk gives him a gentle pat on the head, assuring him that his next joke will be better.

* * *

"hey paps, want to hear a joke?"

"I HAVE NOT HEARD MANY OF YOUR ANNOYING PUNS TODAY, SO I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GRANT YOU THE TELLING OF EXACTLY ONE JOKE!!!"

"thanks bro. here it is... heya, i'm the doctor."

"WHAT??? DOCTOR WHO???"

"heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh"

"I DON'T GET IT!!! SANS, I DEMAND YOU EXPLAIN YOUR JOKE AT ONCE!!! (heheheheheheheheheheheh) SANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

**Author's Note:**

> behind the scenes exclusive details: sans wrote "SAY DOCTOR WHO" on a card for papyrus to read so his joke wouldnt fail a second time


End file.
